Today’s been an odd day. I’ve been listening to Big Country and dreaming of a lost youth I wish I could recapture. I missed out on so much pretending to be male and the moment I hit female presenting I realised how much I’d lost. How alone I am both romantically, spiritually, and socially.I had the urge to reach out and say hi, a few words, or just read a sentence from friends I don’t know…
Things I like/need to do:– sit on a beach at night and dance to old rock tunes with friends.– people watch with a buddy and make up stories about strangers from a warm cafe.– lie next to a friend and discuss the night sky.– visit places from my youth, take pictures, and when developed, right memories on the back.– visit new and old rock discos.– buy little gifts for friends for no reason but to…
I remember my first appointment at the Gender Identity Clinic.
I was cautioned online by other trans people about having to lie. I thought it was rubbish but I quickly learned they were right.
I had to convince the therapist that I was worthy of referral and he was suspicious. So I told lies:
I urinated sitting down.I turned up dressed ultra fem.I had no mental issues.
I had to lie to get…
So… is this it? Is this the point where we all admit the world is broken? Its been hidden from most of us in order to sell eye time or papers.
Politicians have destroyed our world and our perception of it. Humaniti won’t end this century because we didn’t believe truths, but because we dont know what to believe.
This has been the second hottest Summer on record and it won’t be long before we see…
I’ve followed Alexis in her previous life with her wife on Youtube. She came back to the channel to say goodbye. Their divorce finalised, their channel has ended and while Ashley has continued with a new channel, Alex’s has gotten a 9-5 in another city and has moved away from media.
I have a complicated set of emotions about this. I miss the Way away but Alexis seems to be living well. But…
Why…
Take a moment.
Just a minute to think about the past and who you were in it. Have you always been the you that you are now? Well, no. We are little more than amazing bags of blood in a fragile shell running around a simulation of our own making and using prejudice and anxiety as an operating system.
The reason I say this is because I want you to understand that I was a different person then, in…
I’m not sure how to start this.
One of the frustrating things about being trans is that when you need help from services they can use it as an excuse to deny you treatment. That’s not to say they are deliberately putting me off but with serious cuts to services, it’s often all they need to pass the buck, or the expense, on to someone else.
In the past few months I’ve had issues with a dermatology…
This month the UK government brings in a “safety” directive age gating all porn sites.
Sounds good, right? Until you realise it was founded on an NSPCC flawed study. And the NSPCC themselves say it is entirely healthy to be curious about sex from 13 upwards. Also, the algorithm is flawed and will include trans, abuse, psychological support, LGBTQIA+, and other services as “porn”. So expect the…
Well, it’s been a while.
That usually points to two things; either I’m too down to post, or I’m OK and don’t need to vent or put down my thoughts in a space where I know they’re recorded but I’m pretty sure no one reads. This time, however, it’s a mix of the two.
Watching a YouTube video recently by a friend whose partner is transitioning made me realise that there is no real ‘end date’ for…
Some from the Chester Games Club are going to really enjoy reading this. Today i needed to cross the city, going from my doctors to my dentist, which meant i wore make up. It was the first time in a while and with so many people around me i felt extremely vulnerable and nervous. It felt, in a small way, the same as when i first came out as trans. You start to think everyone is staring at you and…